THE BLACK MAMBA

If you can forgive the fact that he comes up with his own nickname, speaks in the third person, is a perennial ball hog, throws his teammates under the bus, and cheats on his incredibly hot wife with an incredibly lesser woman, Kobe Bryant actually does a decent job in the short film by Robert Rodriguez (Desperado).

Black Mamba features a slew of cameos and explosions; as well as a number of annoying stare downs by Kobe Bean himself. If you like basketball, Nike, really scary black dudes and Danny Trejo, this one's for you.