Tuesday, March 29, 2011

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART II

Here's the first one-sheet for the closing chapter of the wizarding boy-wonder's saga. When we last left Harry and company, they were on the search for the horcruxes: a series of non-descript items that each contain part of Voldemort's soul.


What we've learned is that Harry can't kill Voldemort with magic and vice versa, since a part of each is in the other. Or something like that. Anyway, what I don't understand is what makes Harry so special. I realize that he withstood a direct hit from the noseless one back when he was an infant, but what is unclear is why he remains such a thorn in the side of evil. From what we've seen, Voldemort is having no trouble wrecking havoc on the mystical and boring regular world; one would think that he would be smart enough to simply stab the bespectacled one in the heart, or shoot him with a non-magical gun. Problem solved, bad guys win.

HP and the DH PII arrives July 15, 2011.

THE TREE OF LIFE


Still not much is known about Terrence Malick's long-gestating film, other than it's a family tale about Brad Pitt being a mean dad, whose son grows up to be Sean Penn, despondant and angry (not a stretch whatsoever). The poster, along with the first trailer, capture some very beautiful and moving images, and with Malick's track record (The Thin Red Line), Tree will be something to watch out for.

The Tree of Life will be seen in North America on May 27, 2011.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

COCO CHANEL

Photographing models, albeit hugely important, can't be that hard right? They take their clothes off and you point and click. Why are we paying these people!? The worst part is, a lot of times they end up getting with the focus of their camera's attention.

Watch below to see Keira Knightley ride a motorcycle and seduce a guy just to seemingly get her hands on a sample sized bottle of Chanel perfume that you can get at any department store in America. This spot is directed by Joe Wright, the same man behind the lens of Pride and Prejudice and Atonement--both Knightley films. This is a pretty tantalizing commercial, that is, if you can tune out Joss Stone's rendition of "It's a Man's Man's Man's World."

BLINKY™

I've had a Roomba (which is the greatest thing on Earth) for a few weeks now. If you're unfamiliar, Roomba is a vaccum cleaner with a robotic brain, that when summoned will scurry around your home and clean every inch of the floor a few times over. Then when it's finished the job, it finds its way back to the dock and recharges. The somewhat eerie thing is that the company that creates Roomba (and its bretheren Scuba, Verro, and Looj) is called iRobot--also a film about killer servent androids and a forlorn Will Smith. We're just a few steps away from Skynet and a time-traveling nude Arnold Schwartzenegger.

So on cue, here's a short film by director Ruairi Robinson. The special effects are good, especially the cityscapes. The automaton design is kind of hokey, but the real calamity is Max Records, the boy from Where the Wild Things Are. Once again he plays a kid that you wish bad things would happen to over and over.

Monday, March 21, 2011

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU

This is a story of boy meets girl, and then how fate tries to tear them apart. This is not the first word we've heard on fate, or kismet, and it certainly won't be the last. It's a bit outrageous (but nonetheless riveting) to think that our lives have already been plotted. How our existence has one path and when we deviate from said route, fate steps in to right the course. Fate, in this instance, are tangible beings. And meticulously dressed ones at that. They are the Adjustment Bureau: a would-be all-male group of super heroes. Except their job isn't to save the world, rather mess it up, one spilled coffee at a time.

The film succeeds through the appreciable talents of Matt Damon. He may be People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, but he's also no slouch in the acting department. His greatest strength is in the audience forgetting they're watching Matt Damon. In School Ties, he was an anti-Semitic school boy; Courage Under Fire, a drug-riddled military man. In back-to-back years he was an amnestic C.I.A agent (The Bourne Identity) and one half of a siamese twin with relationship issues (Stuck on You).

In Bureau, Damon is David Norris, a politician on the fast track. At twenty-four years of age, he was the youngest congressman in history; now, he has his sights on the Senate seat for the "great state of New York." Alas, you can take the politico out of the frat house, but you can't take the frat house out of the politico. As he enjoys a ten point lead in the election, an incriminating photo surfaces which retroactively removes David from the race. While prepping his concession speech in his ofice (see: men's restroom), Norris is interrupted by Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt): a wedding crasher hiding from security. Their initial encounter is fleeting--a few measly minutes; the effect is everlasting. The concept of love at first sight is somewhat preposterous, or at the very least, high contestable. That being said, the moment David and Elise meet, there is "something" there; an obvious physical attraction no doubt, but also something deeper, something uniquely profound.

After another chance meeting--this time on a city bus, the Bureau steps in. The job has been passed to Mitchell (Anthony Mackie) to separate the would be lovers. It is implied that Mitchell has a history with the Norris family. It is because of this that he takes David aside and briefly explicates the far-fetched circumstances. Agent Richardson (John Slattery, doing his best Roger Sterling impression) tells David that he cannot be with Elise, because "it's not in the plan." He does so by nodding not so discreetly to the heavens above. This is one of many religious implications littered throughout. It's never explained who the Bureau is--be it supernatural spirits or time-traveling prophets. The subject of chance versus predestination is argued by David and his oppressors.

Thompson (Terrence Stamp) joins the party and explains that if David stays with Elise, both will forgo their dreams: he of White House glory, she a world class dancer. (He also explains how the Bureau can be thanked for giving humans the Renaissance period, but after stepping back a few paces, to see how humans would react, WWII and the Holocaust happened, among other horrific events. Why they never thought to "accidentally" push Hitler in front of a train is a whole other can of worms.) Thompson seems resigned to David's decision...until he and his team do everything in their power to avert another rendezvous. Confusion arises when the Bureau tells David he has a choice, only to punish him and those around him for said choices. Free will is told to be readily available, and these god-like figures seem to have a purpose, but their actions lean heavily towards the petty, like a child ripping off the wings of an insect.

Director George Nolfi does an admirable job here in his voyage effort. The trailers insinuate a sci-fi mind bender, but in reality there is a romance at its core. I even laughed a few times, at the clever writing and sometimes sheer absurdity of the goings-on. There are some silly necessities. Part of the Bureau's uniform is a classy fedora--not only a cutting fashion choice, but they also act as pass keys that turn regular doorways into transporters. (Also, if you're going to hold a covert meeting, do so in a rainstorm, or the bathtub.)

Bureau is loosely based on Philip K. Dick's short story "Adjustment Team," which is to say they share the word Adjustment in their respective titles. The story drifts in the second act as David can't seem to make up his mind of whether to choose professionally or emotionally (an easy decision in my mind); the fantastic chemistry between Damon and Blunt, along with the stimulating narrative more than make up for it. My only regret is that the conclusion had dared to be braver.

We are faced with choices every day--some more consequential than others. Whether to the take the subway or walk to work; stopping in to your favourite restaurant; even hitting the snooze button one more time in the morning. All of these create ripple effects, that although we can't see, often times modify important periods in our lives. David has his own designs on what he deems crucial. His hopes lay with the old adage that love conquers all--even well-dressed corporate angels.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES


Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Angels in the Outfield) has long been rumoured to be a part of Christopher Nolan's closing Batman chapter, but now Variety has confirmed that JGL will be playing Alberto Falcone, son of Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson), last seen scared shitless by Scarecrow's fear toxin in Batman Begins. The younger Falcone also becomes serial killer Holiday, who if you couldn't tell by the name, murders his victims on national days of rest.


Also relevant in the article is the mention of Juno Temple who was recently seen in the flaming turd, Greenberg. Temple will play a street-smart Gotham girl--possibly Holly Robinson: an ally and frequent sidekick of Catwoman.

Nolan has made it a habit of recasting his actors in numerous films. Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Marion Cotillard, and Tom Hardy have already been featured in previous Nolan works, and will return once more for Rises.

The Dark Knight Rises arrives July 20, 2012.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

BLU-RAY RELEASE OF THE WEEK


Brought to you by my neverending love of b-movies (see: Mosquito, Death Race 2000), this week's highlighted release is Sharktopus. I haven't seen it yet, and I'm sure none of you have either, but after I tell you that it's about how the U.S. Navy commissions a group to genetically engineer a half-shark, half-octopus for combat (The creature then escapes and heads to Puerta Vallarta.), just try to stay away.

Bikinis, Eric Roberts, a guy carrying an RPG on his boat. Must. Own. Now. 

STAR WARS

Star Wars by itself? Classic. Star Wars infused with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost from Shaun of the Dead fame? Side-splitting.

This comes courtesy of collegehumor.com.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

BRIDESMAIDS

This is getting a lot of great buzz from the ongoing SXSW festival in Austin, TX. To my great chagrin, I've never been to SXSW; something I hope to remedy in the upcoming years. Produced by Judd Apatow and written by the creator of Freaks and Geeks, Paul Weig; Bridesmaids' trailer looks pretty fantastic. I've heard it gets pretty vulgar, so I'm hoping a red-band trailer shows up after this initial one.

"I'm not even confident of which end that came out."



Bridesmaids arrives May 13, 2011.

SOURCE CODE

All you Jake Gyllenhaalics out there, rejoice. Before his out-of-body sci-fi adventure hits theatres, everyone can now witness the first five minutes.



Source Code is directed by Zowie Bowie (Moon), and can be seen fully on April 1, 2011.

YOUR HIGHNESS

Natalie Portman may have just won the Oscar, but here she does best acting--somehow attracted to Danny McBride. 


I mean, with those locks and that chain mail, it's not hard to see how he's able to snag such a looker. Above is a new one-sheet for David Gordon Green's (Pineapple Express) new medieval comedy that follows the trials of Thadeous (McBride) and Fabious (James Franco) as they attempt to rescue the quirky Belladona (Zooey Deschanel) from the clutches of the wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux). 

Along the way, they fight hydras, smoke dope (presumably) and hang with Isabel (Portman). After the break, make sure to check out two more posters, along with a never-more-appropriate television spot. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

KUNG FU PANDA 2: THE KABOOM OF DOOM

The first Panda was unexpectedly great, and temporarily at least, loosened the chokehold that Pixar had on the animation department. Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogan, Lucy Liu, David Cross and Jackie Chan combined forces on the hysterical martial arts tale. 

For the sequel, Gary Oldman, Michelle Yeoh, Victor Garber, Dennis Haysbert, and the one and only Jean-Claude Van Damme (and if you haven't yet seen Van Damme's brilliant JCVD, run out and get it now. It is seriously one of the best films of 2008.) are joining the fray, which will find Po the panda (Black) protecting the Valley of Peace from a new threat: the regal terrifying peacock warlord Lord Shen (Oldman). 

If you're curious about what an evil, plumed avian dictator looks like, Dreamworks has released a set of four banners, highlighting some of the new characters. 


See the rest after the break. 

THE SMURFS


The obvious answer to the above poster is 'Hell.'

If you are brave enough, there's also a trailer (after the break) which highlights just how low we've come as a society if this makes any sort of profit whatsoever. But, it is in 3D, so the CGI'd Smurfette (Katy Perry) crapping on doing her best Marilyn Monroe will be even more horrifying.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

SUPER 8

Here's a one-sheet to accompany the excellent first full-length trailer for J.J. Abrams' Super 8. After some clever campaigning for Cloverfield (when Abrams was a producer), the man knows a thing or two about how to sell a movie. The best part once again is how little we know of the project save for a creature that ravages a small town.

Friday, March 11, 2011

SUPER 8

Although written and directed by J.J. Abrams (Star Trek), the first full-length trailer for Super 8 has producer Steven Spielberg's fingerprints all over it. Abrams and the Beard apparently collaborated over a story, finally coming up with a monster (I think?) movie told through the eyes of a child. No one does children leads better than Spielberg (see: E.T., Empire of the Sun), and Super 8 truly does have a nostalgic feel to it.

The best part about it is--even though we have almost two-and-a-half minutes of footage--there is zero reveal as to what the creature is or can do, apart from scaring the crap of local canines and the apparent ability to make things float ominously.



June 10 will be the big reveal of what Abrams and Spielberg have in store for us. With its creator's pedigree and the initial looks we've received, I'd wager this tent-pole will find huge success in a summer littered with sequels and re-imaginings.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

We saw a snippet during the first teaser of Joe Johnson's Captain America film, but Marvel Studios has released the first official photo of Cap's nemesis, the Red Skull; otherwise known as the greatest advocate for being safe in the sun.


Entertainment Weekly got the first shot of the Skull, who on top of being hideously scarred, is also a Nazi, and in turn, a real hit with the ladies. The Red Skull is being portrayed by Hugo Weaving, whom everyone should remember as Agent Smith (and for also having chiclet sized teeth) from The Matrix trilogy

TOMB RAIDER

Good news for video game fans everywhere: GK Films has resurrected the Tomb Raider franchise, and has hopes for another foray into theatres come 2013. Raider's titular (tee hee) heroine, Lara Croft, is sexy, disproportionate, and British; the ideal catnip to nerds (guilty) who are in awe of her perfect, pixelated figure.

Apparently, thirty-five is the new fifty, because Angelina Jolie--who was the originator of the buxomly babe--has been cast aside for a younger woman to strap on the twin gun holsters and short shorts. Some notable names being floated around are Gemma Arterton, Rhona Mitra, and Odette Yustman, although principal casting isn't anywhere close to beginning. 

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

SUPER

I don't know what's scarier: Rainn Wilson coming at you, wielding a heavy set of pliers, or those tight spandex he wears, hugging his milky-white thighs. Wilson stars in a dark comedy about a man trying to get his wife back from under the seduction of a drug dealer (Kevin Bacon).

To do so, Wilson dresses up as the 'Crimson Bolt', brandishes his unorthodox weapon, and sets out to bring justice to an unruly world, one lowlife at a time. Liv Tyler plays his wife, Ellen Page stops by as 'Boltie'--the young sidekick of the Bolt, and Kevin Bacon is the aforementioned dealer. If this story couldn't get any greater, Nathan Fillion (Serenity) joins in, in what can only be a superb performance.

As funny as this looks (and it does indeed), there's definintely an underlying current of darkness here which should only add to the fun this film looks to inhibit.

Shut up, crime!



You can see Super in theatres April 1, 2011.

Monday, March 7, 2011

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN


Kristen Stewart has been pegged to headline the re-imagining of the classic Disney tale. While Viggo Mortensen (A History of Violence) has already been cast as the huntsman, and Charlize Theron (Reindeer Games) will supposedly be the evil witch, the lead role came down to Stewart and Emily Browning (the upcoming Sucker Punch). Ironically, Browning was author Stephanie Meyer's first choice to play the woman who set sail a thousand vampires--Bella, in the Twilight series--but it was turned down which opened the door for Stewart.

Stewart has a history of being...well, straight up boring, in all of her roles. She's just extremely wooden when she's in front of the camera. It's like Pinocchio, but it in real life. Our only hope is that the seven dwarves are funny as hell or this could be one long trip to the theatre.

JIM BEAM

It's a credit to Hollywood that someone as weird-looking as Willem Dafoe can be so successful. He really is the man though. He was creepy as all hell in Shadow of the Vampire; plus, his Paul Smecker from Boondock Saints steals the show everytime he's onscreen:



Here, Dafoe does his best to convince us that drinking Jim Beam will set us down the right path in life, while not indulging will embark us towards a life of shoveling elephant shit under the big top.

DISNEY

When you mix Disney characters and Hollywood, you get an African American Ursula and Genie, as well as a super crappy Aladdin and Jasmine. There are some fun (albeit severely photoshopped) shots here however. (Click to make 'em big and beautiful...except for J-Lo.)

Scarlett Johannson (huzzah!) as Cinderella

Jessica Biel as Pocahontas 

See the rest (and there's a lot more) after the break.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

2011 ACADEMY AWARDS


I was busy hosting a party and tying for second place in our Oscar winner pick 'em (16/24), so I couldn't get around to live-blogging the ceremony. Never fear though, because I've prepared instead a retrospective diary of the entire event (which is even better, since I'll have more time think of witty comments to impress all eight of my readers).

And we're off!

8:00pm: We're opening with a montage of the ten nominated films for best picture. I'm reminded of a few things: rowing is hard, ballet is harder; Jesse Eisenberg made making a billion dollars look easy; it doesn't matter how many nominees there are for visual effects, 'cause Inception ain't losing. Jeff Bridges brings the eye patch back to the forefront of fashion.

8:02: The hosts--James Franco and Anne Hathaway--are introduced in another montage; this time they're transposed into different movies. Apparently, their voyage into making the Oscars a tad younger is to rip off what MTV has done for years for their movie awards. Alec Baldwin makes an appearance, drinking an Ambien juice box (probably in mass production as I type), even though he and Steve Martin bombed at hosting last year.

Please read on after the break.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

THE BOURNE LEGACY

In the worst decision Hollywood's had for a while (and that's saying something), Shia The Beef is evidently one of the finalists to take over Matt Damon's lead in Tony Gilroy's The Bourne Legacy. Now, if you've seen The Beef in any of his movies, tough guy is not one of the things that comes to mind. Startled house cat seems far more appropriate.

The Beef is not actually going to play Jason Bourne, but another sleeper agent that can, in all liklihood, kill you twelve different ways with a paper clip. I very well could be proven wrong, but it'll take a lot to make him seem like a viable option. Unless of course his skill is "no'ing" us to death.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Another photo for the new 1960's X-Men flick. This seems to show the inner sanctum of the Hellfire Club, and features the White Queen (January Jones) and the club's leader Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon). The Hellfire Club were a bunch of mean mutants who dressed in suits and ascots and generally raged against the X-Men and other superhero squads. The first teaser was voiced over by JFK, so perhaps there will be some crossover with the Cuban Missile Crisis, along with some freaky mutant powers.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

MARCH FILMS WORTH SEEING

Finally, with the Oscars over, we can all talk about something else. Like, for instance, a great crop of titles during the third month of the year.

March 4
The Adjustment Bureau
I know there's been a lot of bad press lately for this sci-fi film about how a group of shadowy God-like figures control every person's life path, but with Jason Bourne, Roger Sterling and General Zod involved, what can go wrong?

David Norris (Damon) is a politician running for the United States Congress, when he meets Elise (Emily Blunt) and both feel an immediate attraction. Later on, Norris is accosted by the fedora appreciation club who says that him getting with Elise was "never part of the plan."

On a somewhat related note, it turns out Matt Damon was originally offered the role of Jake Sully for Avatar, but had to turn it down because The Bourne Ultimatum's filming went late. Also, he had a chance to be a part of Werner Herzog's Rescue Dawn, but instead selected Stuck On You. For those unfamiliar, Stuck was a pair of conjoined twins (Damon, Greg Kinnear) who want to be separated. And it was directed by the Farrelly brothers.

Regardless of past performances, we can all agree to the awesomeness that is the song "Adagio in D Minor," by the great John Murphy during the trailer.



See more after the break.