Saturday, January 29, 2011

HANNA

If you missed the first trailer for Joe Wright's latest, you can find that here; the new one-sheet you can find below. It properly conveys what the film is pushing, with Saoirse Ronan's piercing blues and an arrow looking right at you. Not sure about the slogan 'adapt or die,' but the fact that the Chemical Brothers are scoring it is a real plus. With the inclusion of Daft Punk on Tron: Legacy and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails for The Social Network, we're seeing a new revolution for music and film. Doubtful we'll be losing the John Williams' and Hans Zimmer's of the world, but it's certainly something to key an eye on for the future.

PERFECT SENSE

True love and the apocalypse come together nicely in another film featuring Ewan McGregor. McGregor lives a tough life, man. First he bagged Mélanie Laurent in Beginners; now it's Eva Green. Also, he can grow a killer beard.

From the looks of Sense, Green and McGregor find each other right as the world is ending from an, as of yet, unknown predicament. But, if you have Green laying nude beside you in bed, it could be worse.

Friday, January 28, 2011

BEGINNERS

Ewan McGregor kicked some ass recently in I Love You Phillip Morris; here he plays it straight (in more ways than one). McGregor is Oliver, who must deal with his mother's death and the revelation that his father (Christopher Plummer) is gay.

This is worth the price for Plummer, who has had a hugely distinguished career, cutting his teeth early with Shakespeare and other theatre. The dude has been Captain Von Trapp, Leo Tolstoy, Van Helsing, Julius Caesar, Aristotle, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Santa Claus over the years. Now the 81-year old digging on bandanas and house music.

And he's Canadian. Much love.

PEEP WORLD

I think we all agree that Sarah Silverman should be featured more; be it the small or big screen. Here, she's one of a very talented and funny cast in Barry W. Blaustein's new film. Peep World tells the story of a very dysfunctional family who get together once a year to celebrate the patriarch, played by Ron Rifkin (L.A. Confidential).

As you'll see from the first trailer, they spend their quality time by bitching and airing out their laundry at one and other. Along with Silverman, Michael C. Hall, Rainn Wilson, Kate Mara, Taraji P. Henson, Stephen Tobolowsky and Ben Schwartz are along for the ride. The film's name comes from the title of a book written by Schwartz's character which sends them all in into even more of a tailspin.



This looks pretty good. It will be in theatres March 25, but first accessible on VOD February 9.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

2011 ACADEMY AWARDS


The 2011 Christopher Nolan hating Academy Award nominations were announced Tuesday morning by your friend and mine, Mo'nique. (Speaking of which, there's not enough names out there with apostrophes in them.) The King's Speech, thanks to the stammering of Colin Firth's King George VI, leads the way with twelve nominations including best picture, director, and acting nods for Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter.

After being completely shut out at the recently completed Golden Globes (pretty much all you need to know about that particular ceremony), Joel and Ethan Coen's remake of True Grit trailed only Speech with ten nominations, while best picture favourite The Social Network has eight; the same as Christopher Nolan's Inception.

A few thoughts:

For no good reason in particular, Nolan was snubbed from the best director final five, after suffering a similar fate with The Dark Knight in 2008. Nolan has made nothing but gold since his arrival, so what does he have to show for his efforts? A big, fat middle finger from the Academy. One would hope that this trend doesn't continue with the completion of his Batman trilogy in two years. This upsets me greatly. The saving grace is that Nolan earned one for screenplay--something, if I had my way, he'd walk away with the award. Also, Hans Zimmer should win original score for the film--but, he won't.

Happy to see that Winter's Bone received a lot of love. After being released very early in the year, Debra Granik's small scale (but grand experience) film scored four nominations for best actress, supporting actor, adapted screenplay and most importantly, picture.

While John Hawkes got an unexpected nod for Winter's Bone, it seems he knocked out Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild (SAG) nominee Andrew Garfield for The Social Network. Personally, I thought Garfield was better in Mark Romanek's Never Let Me Go. He, along with Carey Mulligan were absolutely flawless in it, yet the film, nor its cast or crew even sniffed any sort of recognition this year.

Alice in Wonderland--which featured a sword fighting Mad Hatter (?)--will somehow be thrice featured in the broadcast, for art direction, costume design and visual effects. Adding to the embarrassment is the inclusion of The Wolfman and Unstoppable. Thank Christ that Twilight wasn't singled out though. What a goddamn tragedy that would be.

Tough to see Ryan Gosling missing from the best acting category. His Blue Valentine partner-in-crime Michelle Williams made the cut, and they really should be recognized together. The only word to describe their film is heartbreaking. I urge everyone to see it, though I'll need a break before watching it again. There was some beautifully distressing stuff going on there. Just think about getting kicked repeatedly in the nuts--or kitty if you fancy--and that is infinitely easier than watching some of the scenes in Valentine.

James Franco and Anne Hathaway are hosting the biggest night in film, while insanely rich celebrities will be passing out the golden, bald statues February 27, 2011.

See all the nominees after the break

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

SUCKER PUNCH

Five more posters have shown up for Zack Snyder's new sensory smorgasbord, Sucker Punch. The marketing minds behind this aren't stupid, but you don't need a PhD to know what's going to be effective. Just put skinny, attractive women in leather outfits, knee-high socks with short skirts, holding guns, and you've got yourself a winner.


See the rest after the break.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

There's been some buzz around another live-action TMNT project trying to be made--no word yet on whether noted thespian Corey Feldman is being approached to revive the voice of Donatello. It's no secret I've long been a fan of everything green, pizza loving and laced with karate prowess. Action figures, playing cards, video games; you name it, I owned it.

We're probably at least a year away from seeing anything on screen. In the meantime, a fan-made short video has been circulating around the web featuring local reporter April O'Neil as she uncovers the makings of a new gang popping up in NYC.

Appropriately entitled 'Fight the Foot,' it's actually quite good for what it is.

Monday, January 24, 2011

CEDAR RAPIDS

A little late on posting the first trailer for Cedar Rapids, from Miguel Arteta (The Good Girl). Some funny material here--mostly from John C. Reilly and Isiah Whitlock Jr. (sheeeee-it). Former lesbian Anne Heche also makes an appearance, as a redhead no less.

Rapids stars Ed Helms (The Hangover) as nerdy insurance agent Tim Lippe who goes to a conference to represent his company. Lippe is a guy who drinks creme sherry and think any hotel with a pool is an exotic locale. He starts hanging out with conference regulars (Reilly, Heche, Whitlock Jr.) who help to break him out of his shell.

You gotta dance with the tiger.



Also see a clip after the break.

THE FIGHTER

There's a point near the start of every boxing bout, where the two adversaries dance around the ring, feeling one and other out. The quiet before the storm so-to-speak; the moments of anticipation before one (or both) bears the pummeling. These calm instances sum up The Fighter for me. It's all expectation, and no substance. It tells the story of Micky Ward (Mark Wahlberg), a welterweight contender from Lowell, Massachusetts whose rises from the slums to the top of his profession. Wahlberg is mostly lifeless here; his greatest battle is the one to successfully come across as a competent actor.

I think the problem comes down to me not caring at all about boxing, or the films that chronicle the sport. I respect the athletic feats these people are able to accomplish, but how cookie-cutter are the layouts for these particular affairs? An impoverished local hero with a chip on his shoulder? Check. Battles adversity, while overcoming self-doubt? Check. Plays the "me versus the world" card? Check. Has a momentary setback? Check. Against all odds, he rises to the top of his sport while redeeming himself in his own eyes and the eyes of others? Check.


The best part people will say is the cast. And yes, some of that is true. Christian Bale is great as always; he even made Terminator Salvation watchable, and it was directed by McG. Like 2004's The Machinist, Bale goes through a drastic physical change. Although not down to 120 pounds, his dedication and transformation remains potent. Bale plays Dickie Eklund: the older half-brother of "Irish" Micky Ward. A former boxer with promise, Dickie turned to crack which eventually consumed his pockets and drive, derailing his career for good. This may not be the "best" supporting character of 2010, but Bale is due. As we all know, the Academy has a history of rewarding not one, but a sum of roles an actor has portrayed over the years. Bale has conquered indie and mainstream audiences alike; it's about time he's seeing some accolades. He's won most awards he's been up for this year, including the Golden Globe. I fully expect an Oscar to accompany it on his mantle.


Melissa Leo, who earned acclaim in 2009's Frozen River, also stars. Despite only being eleven and fourteen older than Wahlberg and Bale, Leo plays their mother Alice Ward. Alice hates most things she comes across: like outsiders, people telling her what to do, etc. But as the mother of nine children with multiple partners, it's evident her real enemy is birth control. I've never seen the real Alice Ward, but Leo's edition is the most over-the-top performance you will likely witness this year. And I have zero patience to even discuss the seven sisters (save for the haplessly named Phyllis "Beaver" Eklund, played by Kate O'Brien, sister of Conan). I just wish I had some gloves and some talent in the ring to help illustrate my feelings towards these wretched women.


I was happy to see Amy Adams here. After rising to fame playing princesses and lovable ingénues, she completely sells Charlene: a white trash bartender who drank away her education and now gets through each day working, all the while thwarting alcoholics and bad tippers. Micky defends her honour by (what else) beating someone up. Charlene is an imperfect shining light from the same side of the tracks. Micky is lucky to have her; as The Fighter is lucky to have Adams.

As the title suggests, the most compelling scenes involving Micky are in the ring where director David O. Russell (Three Kings) deployed the same cameras and commentary that HBO utilized when the actual fights took place. There is a realistic look to these intimate moments; a fact only cemented by the actual punches thrown and landed by the combatants during filming. Sadly, the grittiness that builds up here quickly erodes when the action leaves the squared circle; or when Bale and Adams are nowhere to be seen.


The Fighter was a labour of love for Wahlberg. He spent six years bringing it to life, stating his intent was do Ward's story "justice." And I think he succeeds; it's just not that compelling of a tale. Wahlberg beefs up to the appropriate levels and looks the part. He has a very believable left jab, but he's always had muscles; if only he had the acting chops to complement them. The Fighter found itself on many pundits top films list; it is not on mine. Not even close. Producers egregiously assume that finding a celebrated director, while matching him with talented performers will automatically garner adulation. Personally, I would have rather watched two hours of Dickie as he circumvents his issues with substance abuse. That storyline actually felt real, while everything else quickly turned into inconsequential fodder. The Fighter periodically hits us with a few effective body blows, but lacks the finishing right hook to completely floor.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

127 HOURS

Winning the award for "greatest news of the day," it has been learned that Luke Perry (the one and only Dylan McKay) was the one who originally optioned Aron Ralston's true story of being trapped underneath a wedged boulder for over five days.


Ralston's role eventually went to James Franco in a sure-to-be Oscar nominated role; Perry wanted the Notorious B.A.G. himself, Brian Austin Green to play the imprisoned hiker. Imagine the possibilities! Shannon Doherty as Ralston's sister Sonja; Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling as Megan and Kristi, the two hikers he befriends. Perhaps an aged Jason Priestly as Ralston's father, and a not-so-aged Gabrielle Carteris as Mrs. Ralston. Then we just need to find Steve Sanders a cameo.

Sadly, Perry was turned down and in a decision that probably ended better commercially and financially, but less successful comically, Danny Boyle took the reins.

Friday, January 21, 2011

TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART I

Hey all you Twilighters out there; if you're curious about what the spawn of a human and vampire would look like, here's your answer:


That is some scary shit right there. The story is that the girl, Renesmee, daughter of Bella and Edward, reaches full maturation by the age of seven, and can show people what she's feeling just by touching them. (Otherwise known as the worst super power in the world.) She appears however to lack the ability of lighting up like a bulb while in direct sunlight that pesters her father ever so much. Renesmee is also 'imprinted' by Jacob the werewolf (Taylor Lautner). I have no idea what that means, but it sounds all kinds of creepy.

The Bill Condon (Gods and Monsters, Kinsey) directed film will be enjoyed by millions of teens and lonely dorks November 18, 2011.

SCREAM 4

Next on the sequel/remake list is the once-thought-for-dead Scream, now preparing for its fourth massacre. The 'ghostface killer' has returned to stab great-looking people while spouting out clichéd movie hyperbole.  Here's the new trailer:



This one has everything: suspense, scary voices, sexy high schoolers that walk around in their underwear; Julia Roberts' niece, a geeky white guy, a token black guy, dumb girls that walk alone and get murdered.

The trailer will have us believe that "someone is reinventing the game" and "rewriting the rules" but if I'm not mistaken, all those things happened in the first three.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

After a low-res photo was leaked yesterday, 20th Century Fox has certainly moved quickly to remedy the situation. Online is that same character banner; only now it's clearer and actually viewable (which, if nothing else, allows us January Jones in all her half naked glory).


On top of this, we get a couple more shots of idle chit-chat on couches and in front of hearths; even one featuring his holy Bacon-ness.


Finally, see the first one-sheet after the break.

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Possibly amid all the casting rumours running rampant on the web, Warner Brothers sent out a release confirming Anne Hathaway (Havoc, Passengers) as another cog in the Christopher Nolan/ Batman machine. Hathaway, who will host the Oscars alongside James Franco next month, will reprise the role of Catwoman--one that was made famous in the past by Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, and Michelle Pfeiffer. 


Hopefully, Hathaway can pull off the proper enticement that Catwoman exudes. She got her start with cutesy family films such as Ella Enchanted and The Princess Diaries, along with its sequel, but has delved into slightly more edgier roles, which allow me to remain positive. And to be honest, Nolan is no fool; if he thinks Hathaway has the chops to pull Selina Kyle off, then I'm right there with him. 

In other corroborated news, Tom Hardy--who teamed up with Nolan previously in last year's brilliant Inception--will be the villainous Bane in the third chapter involving the Caped Crusader. This hiring should cause zero qualms for the general public. Hardy burst onto the scene with Bronson, a film which required him to bulk up considerably. Bane is titanic on a whole other level however. His backstory tells us he was born and raised in a prison where he murdered and bludgeoned his way to the top of the food chain. Once out, he targeted Batman as an adversary and eventually broke the costumed hero's back. Now that would be an interesting way to close out the trilogy, if he were to go down that route. I don't really think leaving Batman a paraplegic is feasible, but perhaps Nolan really wants to go out on a bang.

RUBBER

No, this isn't a sex comedy; nor is it a commercial about Goodyear or Michelin. This is a trailer for a film about a nondescript, sentient, black tire that rolls around and (psychically? telekinetically?) blows peoples heads up. I've already said too much.



Back in high school (thanks Steffan Thomas!), I was able to come across a little diamond called Mr. Oizo. You may recognize the name from the tune 'Flat Beat'--a monotonous, catchy number that was heard everywhere from the airwaves, to Levis jeans commercials.

Mr. Oizo (aka Quentin Dupieux) directs Rubber. His music is also in it. Rubber was screened at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival to a bevy of bad reviews (snobs). The tire's name is Robert, people! See you there.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Here's the first, terrible look at what the characters will look like in Matthew Vaughn's new mutant flick. From left to right: Michael Fassbender (Magneto), Rose Byrne (Moira McTaggert), January Jones (Emma Frost), Jason Flemying (Azazel), Nicolas Hoult (Beast), Lucas Till (Havoc), Zoë Kravitz (Angel Salvatore), Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique), and James McAvoy (Professor Xavier).

Other than Jones, it's tough to find a lot to like here; this coming from a true X-Men fan. I think it's only fair to wait for a bigger, higher resolution picture to emerge before passing judgement. Vaughn's vision pits the Marvel heroes and villains in the 1960's, of which I'm digging. Apparently, Taylor Lautner--who all the teenage girls recognize as the hairless werewolf from the Twilight Saga--was close to signing a role, but had to opt out due to a conflict. There is a God.

With Class hitting theatres June 3, 2011, expect some moving pictures in the near future.

Ka-pow!

Monday, January 17, 2011

SPIDER-MAN

Sony Pictures has released the first official picture of Andrew Garfield dressed as Spider-Man. I'm digging the look of the costume; it seems to have been scaled down a bit with regards to the raised lines that covered Tobey Maguire's garb. 

For having super strength and the ability to swing around New York City, Garfield here looks pretty damn depressed, and beaten up. He's also nonchalant about his secret identity, seeing how he's walking around NYC with a backpack sans mask. 


I'm sure he has a smile on his face however when he gets to hang out with Emma Stone (Gwen Stacey) his love interest in the Marc Webb directed film. 


Principal shooting has almost completed but Spider-Man won't be released until July 3, 2012.

2011 GOLDEN GLOBES

I did a whole diary chronicling the night's events from a somewhat predictable Golden Globes. Not many surprises from the winners; The Social Network commanded over the rest, winning Best Motion Picture-Drama, Director, Screenplay and Score. This I'm sure will hold true for the Oscars. For one reason or another, Network burned itself on the national consciousness. I'll agree to the Screenplay distinction, perhaps even Director, but there were far better pictures.

See the full list of winners after the break.

2011 GOLDEN GLOBES

For those of you unlucky to have missed Ricky Gervais' opening monologue of the 2011 Golden Globes; thankfully we live in a world where anything is at our fingertips. Gervais was shooting lasers last night, and no one was too famous, too good-looking, too rich, to escape his stinging, hilarious wrath. I feel pretty good saying that he won't be invited back for next year, but I also said that 365 days ago.

2011 GOLDEN GLOBES


I just landed from Vegas after a three night stay of gambling and other forms of excess. I've had eight hours of sleep during my stay, but I'm still bringing you a retrospective diary from last night's Golden Globes.

The Social Network will look to keep the the momentum from its earlier festival wins. The Fighter, Toy Story 3, Black Swan, 127 Hours, The Kids Are All Right will all be featured; while Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Megan Fox, Emma Stone, and Mila Kunis will keep the sexiness to the appropriate levels. My question is whether host Ricky Gervais will be asked back for 2012's version, if he's just as drunk and mean (see: funny) as last time.

Read on after the break.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

W magazine has the exclusive first looks of Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander for the upcoming American reworking of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. After having a small but important role in The Social Network, Mara was selected by director David Fincher as the titular character over, perhaps more popular choices Scarlett Johansson ("too sexy") and Jennifer Lawrence ("too tall").


See her transformation after the break.

I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS

After gestating over two years on the sidelines due to distribution trouble, I Love You Phillip Morris was finally shown the light of day (or more fittingly, the darkness of a theatre), and the wait although long, is well worth it.

Morris is the true story of Steven Jay Russell--an adopted man who became a police officer, married a devout Catholic, and had a daughter. Now he's serving his remaining days in jail. For a long time. 144 years to be exact. Russell never murdered anyone; he wasn't charged with assault. What he did do was lie, cheat and steal his way to the tune of millions. Russell was a con man, and a good one at that.

Early on, Russell endures a devastating car crash, where he has an epiphany; he will finally live his life the way he's always felt: gay. He finds a boyfriend (Rodrigo Santoro), buys flamboyant clothing, drives expensive cars. Hell, he sends his ex-wife and daughter stacks of money for Christmas. In his words, being gay is really expensive. This causes him to turn to a life of impropriety to finance his new way of living. Purposefully slipping on oil in the supermarket and throwing himself down an escalator for the insurance claim, credit card fraud; all for the love of a designer shirt.

Jim Carrey (Man on the Moon) is Steven Russell. He is also light years away from his Ace Ventura days; where he needed to talk from his ass to get a reaction. He's achieved an adept dramatic touch over the years, without losing his comedic timing. The Truman Show (1998), The Majestic (2001) and most impressively Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) all showcase a transformation that has eluded others of his familiar upbringing. After watching Morris, you'll agree that no one else would suffice for the role. Russell is extremely manic, but strangely lovable (a Carrey definition if there ever was one). He eventually gets caught and is sent to his first stint in prison. Very soon, Russell carves out a pretty nice niche behind bars. It appears he has the run of the joint; he walks where he pleases, and makes friends with everyone. The vibe of the lockup is more drab country club than a place where hard time is had. It is at a fluke encounter in the library where Russell meets Phillip Morris.

Ewan McGregor (Morris) has the most difficult and perhaps most impressive role in the film. I love how he can wield a lightsaber and kick some serious ass as Obi-Wan Kenobi, then show up as an introverted homosexual with dyed hair and the proclivity to cry at the drop of a hat. That is just outstanding. The middle act becomes somewhat of a cat and mouse game. Russell commits a crime, then gets caught, only to escape and begin the cycle anew. The film becomes a series of trials. For Phillip's sake, can Steven exist on the straight and narrow? Can there be happiness in their future? Will he find shoes to match those Gucci pants?

I don't know what I'm impressed with more: Russell's escapes or the idiocy of the prison system for allowing them to happen. After the first one, one would think his picture would be plastered on the walls. More often than not though, Russell simply saunters through the halls and walks through the exit; the only thing that differs are his ever changing outfits. Still, you have to hand it to a guy who has the ingenuity to fabricate some doctor's scrubs, using only some old clothes, food dye and a toilet. I've read that Russell's I.Q. is 163; one wonders what that type of intellect could be used for when not preoccupied with evading the law.

Steven loves Phillip, but doesn't know what love truly means. To him, buying flowers or a nice home is a suitable substitute for intimacy. It's evident that their feelings are substantial; it truly is love at first sight, and the sparks are exceedingly real--a credit to Carrey and McGregor. Russell answers the question of how far he would go to be with the one that matters most. He impersonates a lawyer, embezzles hundreds of thousands of dollars. The final con I will leave you to witness yourself. But rest assured, it is unfathomable and frankly revolting. And it's all true. You just can't write this stuff.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES

Here's the first theatrical trailer for Battle: Los Angeles. It's director is Jonathan Liebesman, who previously was behind Darkness Falls and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (which makes you wonder how he's still in the business).

I'll admit to enjoying this trailer; I'm a sucker for invasions flicks when done correctly. Perhaps with this, Skyline, Monsters, and the upcoming Cowboy's and Aliens, it's a sign that extraterrestrial films will push vampire laden ones to the back burner.



The real burning question is how we puny Earthlings are going to rid the world of this menace. From the looks we're getting from the trailer, we might as well be throwing rocks and them since their technology (as usual) vastly trumps ours. In Independence Day it was a computer virus; Signs, the answer was water; War of the Worlds it was, well, air. I'm throwing halitosis out there for Battle. Nothing would get rid of aliens faster than a severe case of garlic breath.

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Please please please let it be Eva Green.

The Dreamers actress has been shortlisted for a role in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises along with Keira Knightley (Atonement), Jessica Biel (The Illusionist) and Anna Hathaway (Havoc). The longstanding rumour has been that Talia al Ghul, daughter of Ra's will have a role, which would be a nice bookend to the character that Liam Neeson brought to life in Batman Begins.

Nolan is also perhaps looking for a Vicki Vale. She of course was Bruce Wayne's love interest in Tim Burton's original Batman (1989). Some other names that have been thrown around are Naomi Watts (Mullholland Drive), Kate Mara (Tadpole) and relative unknown Charlotte Riley who coincidentally is engaged to Inception and Rises star Tom Hardy.

But, yeah, my vote's for Eva Green. She's French, uninhibited, and a very good actress. More evidence below. (Clicking the photo would not be a bad idea.)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

JAMES BOND

Good news from the 007 camp. After long and monotonous bankruptcy discussions, MGM studios has pulled the James Bond franchise back from the brink of never-to-be-seen-again. Sam Mendes (Away We Go) is set to direct the twenty-third film which as of yet, has no title.


The greatest news is that Daniel Craig will return as the shaken-not-stirred martini lover. Craig injected a much needed shot of adrenaline into the character who was more paramour than super spy. Even though the name is MIA, production is set to begin later this year with a theatrical release set for November 9, 2011.

PRIEST

Paul Bettany is back destroying creatures. Last year it was demons in Legion--an unspeakable mess. This time around it's...sigh...vampires. In Priest, Bettany is just that, a religious hunter of the undead. Master of crucifix throwing stars and crucifix facial tattoos.

Bettany's Ivan Isaacs is one of the church's best agents. After his niece is kidnapped from a new breed of vampires however, he turns against his organization to go on a kamikaze mission to reclaim her.

Maggie Q (yum), Cam Gigandet and Stephen Moyer fill out the cast sheet, while Bettany will battle (giggle) Black Hat (Karl Urban), perhaps a distant cousin of Dark Helmet.



Priest will brave the blockbuster heavy summer film schedule and hit theatres May 13, 2011.

PIPPI LONGSTOCKING

When I would visit my grandparents in Orillia, Ontario, my sister and I would watch four things: The Bear,  Seabert the Seal, Felix the Cat (highlighting our absurdly huge love of animals), and Pippi Longstocking. With the news that Debra Granik--the woman behind the acclaimed Winter's Bone--is in talks to revive the freckle faced, red headed girl. Well, that suits me just fine.

Pippi was originally a line of children's books by Swedish author Astrid Linger (who, judging purely by her name and heritage, sounds incredibly sexy) which featured a precocious adolescent with gravity defying pig-tails and superhuman strength.

Seriously. She could lift a horse with one hand.

The words were eventually translated onto the screen: first as a film in 1949, then later a television series in the 60's. It's unclear what Granik will do to the character. I would have no objection to making her older and casting Jennifer Lawrence, who will hopefully be Oscar nominated for her work in Bone.

Monday, January 10, 2011

SUCKER PUNCH

March 25, 2011 will see the release of Zack Snyder's (Watchmen) first original work Sucker Punch. Until that day, a few trailers, a behind-the-scenes featurette and now this banner poster will have to suffice. (Click to beautify.)


This shows the five main characters including Emily Browning (va!), Jamie Chung (va!) and Vanessa Hudgens (voom!) all in the respective environments that will afflict the lovely young ladies. With some glimpses of bunker wars, futuristic cities and everything in between, I'm definitely curious to see what Snyder has in store for us.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

JANUARY FILMS WORTH SEEING

Kind of a slow month--somewhat expected with all the award shows coming up shortly. The Golden Globes will be broadcast January 16, while the Oscars will air February 27, so all we have to look forward to is Nicolas Cage being a nutcase, Ben Affleck and other white guys losing their jobs, and Jason Statham slaughtering the masses.

January 7th
Season of the Witch
I think it's safe that say that Nicolas Cage has cornered the market on over the top performances. But, producers keep calling so Cage keeps delivering the goods. So to speak. Cage, along with Ron Perlman (Hellboy) are knights returning from the Crusades who have to transport a supposed witch to a monastery so the monks can remove the non-existent evil.



See more after the break.

THE HOBBIT

First director Peter Jackson was lured back to the world of Middle Earth to direct the upcoming feature The Hobbit; now Frodo himself, Elijah Wood will return for John Ronald Reuel Tolkin's beloved original tale. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, which was largely enjoyable save for that painfully overdrawn last act where Frodo sat doe-eyed watching his tiny chums bounce around on an oversized bed.

You ever wonder what the author of some of the most popular fantasy novels of all-time looks like?


Not at all what I thought. Although, not really sure what I expecting; perhaps a pimply, fat dude wearing a graphic tee? Alas, once again, I am drowning in mustache envy. 

Joining Jackson and Wood are Rings veterans Sir Ian McKellan (Gandalf), Hugo Weaving (Elrond), Cate Blanchett (Galadriel) and Andy Serkis (Gollum). 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

SPIDER-MAN

Courtesy of JustJared, here's your first look at Marc Webb's ((500) Days of Summer) take on Spider-Man, starring newly minted household name Andrew Garfield (Never Let Me Go) as the titular hero slash Peter Parker. Also joining him is natural blonde-turned-red-head-turned-blonde Emma Stone as Peter's love interest Gwen Stacey.


Nothing too exciting really (whoa-oh-oh, everyone was wearing fingerless gloves); from the looks of things, a scene with smooching from the high school bleachers. I do like the hire of Garfield though. Even though he's twenty-seven years old, he seems to be able to portray the goofiness that Spider-Man embodies. It's an interesting direction Webb is heading to with forgoing the presence of Mary-Jane Watson, the role that natural blonde-turned-red-head Kirsten Dunst brought to life in the first three films.

In the comics, the Green Goblin kidnapped Stacey and hurled her off a bridge. Spidey got there in time and zipped a web-line down, snagging her leg, but also snapping her neck in the process.


With Rhys Ifans (Notting Hill) being cast as Dr. Kurt Connors aka the Lizard, it looks as though the Goblin won't be making an appearance; if Stacey were to die in the upcoming adaptation, that would add a real jolt of gravitas to the otherwise cartoony world they inhabit. 

Friday, January 7, 2011

THE WARD

Newly professed lesbian Amber Heard headlines John Carpenter's (The Thing, They Live) newest, surely scream-laden film about a girl who gets committed into a mental institution. Heard becomes friends with the other, equally attractive female inmates who share the story of a ghost that terrorizes their prison.

On face, this has similarities with Zack Snyder's upcoming Sucker Punch; although the chances are good that Ward will go without stone samurai that wield gatling guns. Jared Harris (television's Mad Men) costars as the warden of the haunted facility.



Carpenter's last outing was 2001's forgettable Ghosts of Mars. It had Natasha Henstridge and Ice Cube in it, and they battled some possessed, self-mutiliating people. Unlike most of her previous pictures though, Henstridge didn't go topless, so it's hardly worth mentioning.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

GODZILLA

Gareth Edwards, who created the muted and brilliant Monsters, has now been given the reins for (another) reboot of Godzilla--arguably the biggest, most overblown monster movie in history. Edwards financed his brain child for only $15,000--something that will probably be surpassed on the opening credits.


The last Godzilla film was enormous, expensive mess by Roland Emmerich. Not a surprise, seeing that it's the man behind Independence Day (1996), The Day After Tomorrow (2004), 10,000 BC (2008), and 2012 (2009).

Not that we need any more rehashing in Hollywood, but I'm willing to give Edwards a little leeway after seeing his first triumph.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

I think it's a foregone conclusion that Natalie Portman will be nominated for Best Actress at the 2011 Oscars when they're unveiled January 25. For me, she's the frontrunner to leave the night with the golden man. Then she'll drink non-alcoholic beer to celebrate.

That being said, there is NO EXCUSE for starring in a film with Ashton "how I am famous, is beyond explanation" Kutcher. In No Strings Attached (formerly Fuckbuddies), Portman is Emma, the sexiest doctor on the planet, who inexplicably is best friends with Adam (Kutcher). (I'm honestly upset that that unfunny man-child is using my name.) Emma must be bored, or blind, but she starts having carefree sex with Adam.

That apparently becomes not good enough, because Adam is an idiot a romantic, which will probably set off a forced set of events that will find the two in each other's arms by the end. I'll admit to this red-band trailer being funnier than the first. But the use of the word 'fuck' (which they use habitually) has a habit of making things more enjoyable. Of course, Kutcher's ass is in it too, so we're back to square one.

BLU-RAY RELEASE OF THE WEEK

It's the week of Robert Rodriquez apparently. El Mariachi and Desperado were released as one, along with Once Upon a Time in Mexico--completing Rodriguez's El Mariachi trilogy.

Rodriguez famously made El on a $7000 budget--raising the money with help from a friend, as well as participating in medical research studies. The film amazingly won the Audience Award at the 1993 Sundance Film Festival, and now he's a millionaire. While helming the adaptation of Sin City, Rodriguez renounced his Director Guild Association membership so he could collaborate with Sin creator Frank Miller. Because of that, he's no longer eligible to receive a lot of the main stream awards (see: Oscars).


Personal history finished, I'm going with his newest film Machete as the release of the week. In 2007, Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino joined forces to create the exploitation film Grindhouse--a throwback to earlier films of the same look and feel. Some fake trailers were produced in between the two features, including Hobo with a Shotgun, and Thanksgiving. Another one was Machete: a former Mexican Federale who becomes a renegade. In 2010, it became a full-length picture starring perennial scare provider Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Jeff Fahey, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsay Lohan (in between rehab stints, no doubt) among others.

There's many reason to watch Machete: Jessica Alba nude in the shower, Trejo inducing nightmares, Fahey (Frank, from television's LOST) being awesome. Hard though to pick against Mayra Leal, who a) is extremely good looking, and b) kicks Trejo's ass (while nude), then pulls a cell phone out of her vagina to make a call.

Monday, January 3, 2011

PETE POSTLETHWAITE: 1946 - 2011

Pete Postlethwaite was a guy who made every film he was in better. More often than not he was the best part of them. He was probably known for playing the mysterious lawyer 'Kobayashi' in The Usual Suspects, Roland Tembo in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, and Friar Lawrence in Romeo + Juliet.


He also had roles in Alien 3 (1992), The Last of the Mohicans (1992), James and the Giant Peach (1996), The Shipping News (2001), and The Constant Gardener (2005).  Most recently, he played two pivotal figures in two terrific films: Maurice Fisher--the father of Cillian Murphy's character--in Inception. and 'Fergie,' the psychotic florist in The Town.

At the age of twenty-four, he left his job as a teacher, to follow his dream of being on the English stage--much to the chagrin of his parents. He began at the Liverpool Everyman Theatre, where he was colleagues with Bill Nighy, Jonathan Pryce and Julie Walters among others.

Postlethwaite tended to stay out of the spotlight, living away from the bigger cities for more rural farming areas. He was the ultimate character actor, and was rewarded in 1993's In the Name of the Father with an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Director Steven Spielberg, who cast him in two films (the aforementioned The Lost World, Amistad), once said that Postlethwaite was "the best actor in the world." The most incredible thing about his success was that he had any to begin with; seeing that he had a hard to pronounce name and the lack of movie star good looks. The dude was fun to watch though.

He passed away Sunday January 2, 2011, peacefully (albeit critically oxymoronic) from cancer.





THE MECHANIC

See Jason Statham punch. See Jason Statham shoot. See Jason Statham scowl Britishly.

See the red band trailer for Statham's vehicle The Mechanic. This one does look good; it has blood, swearing and sex in it. As as if there were any doubt towards its promise. Statham plays (what else?) a hit man, who is the best there is at what he does (other than Wolverine). His superiors betray him and then he must murder his way to the top of the assassination totem pole.

Ben Foster (3:10 to Yuma) plays a fledging hired gun with an anger issue. But if there's an occupation that could handle that emotion, it's probably the one that deals with death and dishing it out. So yeah, let's have more red band trailers. They're great.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010 EARNINGS

Thanks to Buzz, Woody and a Michael Keaton'd Ken, Toy Story 3 ($415 million domestically) easily stood alone as the highest earning film of 2010. Depressingly, in for the second slot was the steaming turd known as Alice in Wonderland ($334 million). Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I ($278 million) rounded out the top three.

Breaking down the top ten: seven were sequels or remakes, four were animated, three were based on literature, while only five were actually good films. To no one's surprise, big budgeted pictures ruled the box office this year, as they have in the past. Steadily climbing ticket prices and the influx of IMAX screens no doubt affected the outcome.

Fittingly, the biggest stars in the world put the most people in the seats: Johnny Depp (who was inexplicably nominated for a Golden Globe), Leo DiCaprio, Sam Worthington, Robert Pattinson and the lifeless Kristen Stewart, and Robert Downey Jr.

An interesting tidbit: James Cameron's always omnipresent Avatar--albeit a 2009 release--gained $466 million the past year, which would have outdistanced the third Toy Story by a wide margin.

See the 2010 top ten with domestic and worldwide gross after the break.

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS

For those of us who aren't ready to give up on the holiday spirit, here's the son of Santa in CGI form. Being that it's only a teaser--Arthur Christmas won't be released for about a year--there's not a lot to go on here, but it's all we've got. Dorky elves and an even dorkier human will have to suffice.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

RED STATE

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PIXAR

Pixar studios continues to come out with some of the year's best pictures. Toy Story 3 will undoubtedly be one of the ten finalists for film of the year during the upcoming Oscars; it's just one of a long list of beautiful films they have created. (My favourite is Wall-E, with Monster's Inc. and The Incredibles following.)

Leandro Copperfield has edited a seven minute mash-up of completed features, and it's pretty wonderful to behold. More than any other company, Pixar knocks it out of the park time and time again. The standard they've set is pretty ridiculous. One would think the ride would have to stop soon, but with an impending Monsters sequel set for 2012, I'm not betting against them.