TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART I

The first trailer for the latest installment of the Twilight Saga (although when I think of saga, romantic vampires and werewolves are not what come to mind) is here, so all the preteen girls can finally sleep easy. The long-awaited annoying wedding of Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) is featured in all of its weird glory. The anticipated love scene teaches us that when vampires do the dew, they are super violent about it, as evidenced by Ed tearing the bed to shreds.

Also disconcerting is the fact that Bella's mom seems pretty content about her daughter marrying a blood sucking demon. And you wonder why she lives alone. Anyway, I'm not sure who the villain is in this one. Could be Michael Sheen, although oddly, he received a wedding invite. Perhaps Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) gets all lupine like and rips some throats. He's also loves Bella and is invited to the ceremony, which proves how much of a bitch Bella is.



Regardless, Breaking Down Part I hits theatres November 18, so get ready for some critically panned, money gorging, saccharine nonsense.